I’m Louisa Sophia Josem, a relationship coach, master hypnosis practitioner, accredited NLP practitioner, speaker, and podcast host. My mission is to help people break repeating relationship cycles and build secure, safe, and regulated love. before they get into their next relationship.
My passion and curiosity for relationships was born from my own tumultuous dating history. Through that journey, I developed my signature Unlearn Framework, which helped me heal my own relationship patterns through a combination of attachment work, subconscious reprogramming, nervous system rewiring, and raising my standards to embody secure energy in dating.
Now I share this work with others. My clients have gone from obsessing over mixed signals and losing themselves in love to feeling calm, confident, and in control of their standards.
Come with us on the journey of unlearning.
About louisa
my journey of unlearning
I hit rock bottom a week after my 22nd birthday.
I was broken. I left a narcissistic-codependent abusive relationship and decided to get sober. When I look back now, my life up until that point was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself.
For the first time, I realised how deeply my relationships were tied to my self-worth.
I knew something had to change, not just the relationships I was choosing, but the way I was treating myself. it started with me.
october 2018 - the breaking point
2018-2020 - rebuilding myself
This was the beginning of doing the real inner work.
I threw myself into weekly therapy, personal development, and healing. I became obsessed with the world of personal development & spirituality. I started learning about attachment styles, trauma patterns, and how my nervous system was actually driving my relationship choices.
For the first time, I stopped blaming the people I was dating and started taking a real look at my own patterns, but even with the new awareness i had i was still showing up to some unhealthy relationship patterns.
I started and completed my Bachelor’s degree in Branded Fashion Design. I was drawn to the degree as I was fascinated by human behaviour from a branding perspective: why people buy things, what influences them, and how identity shapes our choices.
But after landing my “dream job” straight out of uni, something didn’t feel right.
I realised I didn’t want to be part of an industry that often profits off people’s insecurities. it was jarring to this deeper urge i had to help people and the work i so deeply loved in self development. I felt anxious every day, and eventually I chose to take a leap of faith.During this time I was still navigating my own relationship patterns. Even with all the awareness I had built, I found myself in an anxious-avoidant dynamic that showed me just how deep these patterns can run.
Despite the HECS debt, I decided to follow what I was actually passionate about: personal development and helping human beings thrive. and that’s where the unfiltered experience was born.
2020 - 2022 - studying human behaviour
TAra and I launched The Unfiltered Experience podcast, where we started openly sharing about our journeys with self-development, our history with toxic relationships, healing, and emotional growth.
What began as honest conversations quickly resonated with a lot of people. We realised how many others were going through the same relationship patterns and struggles we had experienced ourselves.
A community naturally started forming around those conversations, people were ready to understand their patterns and start doing the deeper work
2023 - turning pain into purpose
2024-today- helping people build secure love
In 2024, Tara passed the podcast on to me as she stepped into her dream of full-time motherhood.
This marked the beginning of the rebrand to Unlearn With Louisa, which became the foundation of my coaching philosophy: most people don’t need more dating advice, they need to unlearn the subconscious patterns keeping them stuck in the same relationship cycles.I decided to put formal qualifications behind the work I had already been doing for years, completing my diploma in coaching and beginning my masters.
Around this time, I also lovingly walked away from my long-term anxious-avoidant relationship. It taught me a lot about my attachment patterns, but I knew it wasn’t aligned with the secure love I wanted to create.
My standards in dating rose. I became willing to walk away at the first (or second) red flag, even if everything else felt good. Instead of looking for security in someone else, I found consistency, safety, and self-trust within myself.
Today, I help people break anxious attachment patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create the strongest emotionally secure relationship they could have...with themselves.
